I am a pacifist not because I am a peaceful person by nature, it is quite the contrary.
It is because I believe that it is possible to move beyond our own violent nature as human beings.
But sometimes I wish the process was a little easier
With perhaps a few less steps
And not so many fallbacks
That are often linked to my own insecurities and lack of patience
It is amazing how having a 9 month old puppy has brought out sides of myself that I never even knew existed.
Most of them being ones that I would prefer to not admit to those around me
Just like children, as much as you may try you don´t get to choose the temperment of your dog.
When I first adopted him I had all kinds of ideas of how I was going to discipline him in constructive ways and without violence.
Especially since I am supposedly an advocate of active nonviolence, I should apply that to all God´s creatures, not just humans.
But unfortunately I feel like sometimes we come with the assumption that that is somehow going to be easy.
You know those well behaved children an pets all over the place….they were born that way right??
And especially for those of us(me included) who have never been in situations that have truly tested our inner violent tendencies, it is far easier for us to wear our “Pacifist” label with pride.
Thinking that I am a peaceful person, going through most days(even months) without using physical violence to achieve my established goals.
Which is great, but if those ideals have never been threatened, how can I really know if I am a peaceful person by nature.
Are any of us really peaceful people by nature?
It is a process, that perhaps we have to confront and work at daily for the rest of our lives.
And just because we are born into contexts that are more violent or peaceful in terms of daily occurences, does not mean that we as individuals are more violent or peaceful by nature based on our surroundings.
What does this mean?
Because a North American is born in a quiet middle class Caucasian Suburb in a Northern Ohio does not mean that they are more peaceful by nature than a Colombian born in a multiracial lower class district in urban Cali.
It just means that I didn´t have to confront violence at a young age and learn how to respond to it. My “peaceful” tendencies are avoidance more than anything else, while I may not have hit my neighbors, I wasn´t given constructive tools on how to resolve conflict in healthy ways either.
Disclaimer: This is in no way pointing a finger at my parents, rather more broad cultural norms that I feel that are common in the U.S.
Comparing this to the Colombian context and what many children are exposed to a young age, I don´t think that we could argue that Colombians are any more violent than North Americans.
From a psychological and anthropological perspective what we are talking about is certainly more nurture than nature.
So what does that mean.
Erin, get off your high horse ☺
You may not have exherted physical violence on another human being since you were 9 and pulled your sisters hair for calling you immature….
But when your dog repeatedly eats your clothing, bites your elbows, steps on your toes and jumps up on your friends…..your first reaction is to hit him.
Over the past several months this has becoming increasingly challenging for me. Especially now that he is really big and very strong.
For those of you who haven´t heard about my son with 4 “patas” (legs) , He is a 9 month old german shepherd mix who is very playful and often filled with energy. He is not an aggressive dog. (except when I hit him)
Funny how things like that work.
Lately it´s gotten to the point where I don´t even want to be around him and find myself tying him up when friends come over to avoid making them feel uncomfortable.
And his behavior has only gotten worse.
But over Christmas break he was practically an angel….
But I was also home almost every day and he was receiving a lot more attention.
The first day I went back to work he was home alone for 9 hours, somehow I wasn´t surprised to find myself with 2 less pairs of underwear.
I had also left my bedroom door open and ignored him as soon as I got home. And looking back….Monday morning I had chosen to sleep in instead of taking him for a run as I usually do before going to work.
Gosh….this is like a kid.
Why can´t he just want to walk with me when I want him to, bark only when he is protecting me and otherwise “sit pretty” in the corner until my friends choose to pet him.
For those of you who have ever had to train a puppy(or a child for that matter;) you´re probably laughing right now.
But it is pretty ridiculous when we allow ourselves to really reflect on situations like this. We really do think that way….that peacful people, well behaved children or pets are just flukes of nature.
God just made them that way right?
Heh.
And some might even have us fooled for a while….
But put them on a public bus that is packed to the brim with someone´s elbow digging into their stomach at 2 in the afternoon when it is 90 degrees out
Or take away their food, material posessions and security and see how they respond.
Just some food for thought…..
Tonight while writing this entry Sebastian repeatedly tried to jump up on the couch or knaw on my arm.
Didn´t he understand that I was busy writing an entry about him??
Heh.
So I set my computer on the table and sat down on the floor and played with him for about 20 minutes.
When I went back to writing again….he plopped down in the corner, fell asleep and “left me in peace”
Hmmm.
When people ask me how my puppy is doing, I often say “We are in a special learning stage.” Little do they know that referring more to myself than the dog.
And this entry is keeping me accountable…
Especially on days like today that I had to get up early and Sebas nearly ripped my arm off on the way to work because somone had left their fluffy white yip dog off the leash…
We´re on our way…not without daily lessons, but we´re on our way ;)
Peace,
Erin
It is because I believe that it is possible to move beyond our own violent nature as human beings.
But sometimes I wish the process was a little easier
With perhaps a few less steps
And not so many fallbacks
That are often linked to my own insecurities and lack of patience
It is amazing how having a 9 month old puppy has brought out sides of myself that I never even knew existed.
Most of them being ones that I would prefer to not admit to those around me
Just like children, as much as you may try you don´t get to choose the temperment of your dog.
When I first adopted him I had all kinds of ideas of how I was going to discipline him in constructive ways and without violence.
Especially since I am supposedly an advocate of active nonviolence, I should apply that to all God´s creatures, not just humans.
But unfortunately I feel like sometimes we come with the assumption that that is somehow going to be easy.
You know those well behaved children an pets all over the place….they were born that way right??
And especially for those of us(me included) who have never been in situations that have truly tested our inner violent tendencies, it is far easier for us to wear our “Pacifist” label with pride.
Thinking that I am a peaceful person, going through most days(even months) without using physical violence to achieve my established goals.
Which is great, but if those ideals have never been threatened, how can I really know if I am a peaceful person by nature.
Are any of us really peaceful people by nature?
It is a process, that perhaps we have to confront and work at daily for the rest of our lives.
And just because we are born into contexts that are more violent or peaceful in terms of daily occurences, does not mean that we as individuals are more violent or peaceful by nature based on our surroundings.
What does this mean?
Because a North American is born in a quiet middle class Caucasian Suburb in a Northern Ohio does not mean that they are more peaceful by nature than a Colombian born in a multiracial lower class district in urban Cali.
It just means that I didn´t have to confront violence at a young age and learn how to respond to it. My “peaceful” tendencies are avoidance more than anything else, while I may not have hit my neighbors, I wasn´t given constructive tools on how to resolve conflict in healthy ways either.
Disclaimer: This is in no way pointing a finger at my parents, rather more broad cultural norms that I feel that are common in the U.S.
Comparing this to the Colombian context and what many children are exposed to a young age, I don´t think that we could argue that Colombians are any more violent than North Americans.
From a psychological and anthropological perspective what we are talking about is certainly more nurture than nature.
So what does that mean.
Erin, get off your high horse ☺
You may not have exherted physical violence on another human being since you were 9 and pulled your sisters hair for calling you immature….
But when your dog repeatedly eats your clothing, bites your elbows, steps on your toes and jumps up on your friends…..your first reaction is to hit him.
Over the past several months this has becoming increasingly challenging for me. Especially now that he is really big and very strong.
For those of you who haven´t heard about my son with 4 “patas” (legs) , He is a 9 month old german shepherd mix who is very playful and often filled with energy. He is not an aggressive dog. (except when I hit him)
Funny how things like that work.
Lately it´s gotten to the point where I don´t even want to be around him and find myself tying him up when friends come over to avoid making them feel uncomfortable.
And his behavior has only gotten worse.
But over Christmas break he was practically an angel….
But I was also home almost every day and he was receiving a lot more attention.
The first day I went back to work he was home alone for 9 hours, somehow I wasn´t surprised to find myself with 2 less pairs of underwear.
I had also left my bedroom door open and ignored him as soon as I got home. And looking back….Monday morning I had chosen to sleep in instead of taking him for a run as I usually do before going to work.
Gosh….this is like a kid.
Why can´t he just want to walk with me when I want him to, bark only when he is protecting me and otherwise “sit pretty” in the corner until my friends choose to pet him.
For those of you who have ever had to train a puppy(or a child for that matter;) you´re probably laughing right now.
But it is pretty ridiculous when we allow ourselves to really reflect on situations like this. We really do think that way….that peacful people, well behaved children or pets are just flukes of nature.
God just made them that way right?
Heh.
And some might even have us fooled for a while….
But put them on a public bus that is packed to the brim with someone´s elbow digging into their stomach at 2 in the afternoon when it is 90 degrees out
Or take away their food, material posessions and security and see how they respond.
Just some food for thought…..
Tonight while writing this entry Sebastian repeatedly tried to jump up on the couch or knaw on my arm.
Didn´t he understand that I was busy writing an entry about him??
Heh.
So I set my computer on the table and sat down on the floor and played with him for about 20 minutes.
When I went back to writing again….he plopped down in the corner, fell asleep and “left me in peace”
Hmmm.
When people ask me how my puppy is doing, I often say “We are in a special learning stage.” Little do they know that referring more to myself than the dog.
And this entry is keeping me accountable…
Especially on days like today that I had to get up early and Sebas nearly ripped my arm off on the way to work because somone had left their fluffy white yip dog off the leash…
We´re on our way…not without daily lessons, but we´re on our way ;)
Peace,
Erin
(this is the "christmas" photo that most of my family received of the Happy family, little did they know the quantity of less than successful photos that we had to take first)
P.S.
The Jaguar Photos are from a parade that I was in for the Colombian version of Carnival, I was part of a dance troupe that does indigenous dances
to see more jaguar fotos click here
and a couple of the other photos are from the coffee region (a trip I took over christmas break) to see more fotos click here
5 comentarios:
What a good post.
I love you!
missing you and thinking of you. don't think i've forgotten you or wine or cheese.
all my love,
jen
Ah, what a surprise to discover that you have this blog! Nice photos and interesting thoughts...thanks for spreading the joy!
I'm loving your stories! And your dog is beautiful - even if it is hard and real to take care of him!
LOVE YOU!
I have heard much about you from Emily (I am her roommate!) but this is the first time I read your blog and it is incredible. Your stories are inspiring and provoke great thought. I have learned a great deal just reading this page!
Great stuff. It all sounds pretty tough, but well worth the struggles.
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